A boutique gym owner in the Lake Norman area gets honest about overthinking, overworrying, and the one thing that actually helps.
Everything’s Fine. Except When It Isn’t.
We say it all the time. Everything’s fine.
Sometimes it is. And sometimes it really isn’t. And both are okay.
Maybe you’re in perimenopause and your body is doing things you don’t recognize anymore. Crying for no reason. Your cycle showing up when it wants, disappearing when it doesn’t, keeping you guessing like you’re thirteen again. Maybe your back is flaring up. Maybe you’re waiting on news you’re not ready for. Maybe you had a fight with your kid right before you walked through the door. Maybe it’s just the quiet on the drive home when everything floods in.
And you just feel numb.
If that’s you right now, I want you to know something.
I see you. I am you.
What Are the Overs?
A few weeks ago I was flat on my mat after a Saturday workout, completely spent, staring at the ceiling. And somewhere in that stillness I realized something.
Uh oh. I’ve been in the overs.
The overs. Overthinking. Overfunctioning. Overcomparing. Overworrying. Overeverything. You do them for so long they start to feel normal. Until one day nothing feels normal. Nothing feels like you.
The worrying is mine. The what ifs running on a constant loop in the background. What if this. What if that. What if everything falls apart at once. My anxiety quietly building until I’m not even sure when it started.
And here’s what the overs look like when I’m not paying attention. I open Instagram for one laugh and suddenly I’m twenty reels deep. Being told about the supplements I should be taking. The morning routine. The night routine. The skincare routine. The breathing routine. The steps. The presence. The productivity. The pickleball. The mahjong. Everything I’m doing wrong as a person, a mom, a business owner. All of it. At once.
Instead of feeling better I feel worse.
And then there’s me versus a big bag of Tostitos. Not a small bag. The big one. That’s what the overs look like when they win.
Sound familiar?
The Only Thing That Actually Quiets the Noise
Want to know the only thing I’ve found that quiets all of it?
Exercise.
Because I genuinely cannot think about the what ifs when I’m dying in a workout. It quiets everything. Every single time.
Here’s what I know from twenty years of watching it happen in real time. Someone walks in tight-shouldered, eyes down, already somewhere else in their head. Twenty minutes later something shifts. Their shoulders drop. They start talking. They laugh at something. By the end they’re a different version of themselves than the one who walked through the door.
I’m not a doctor. I’m not a therapist. But somehow, in this weird and wonderful job, I get to watch people find their way back to themselves every single day. And in some small way, I get to help.
That’s why I keep moving. Even when it’s hard. Even when the overs have taken over. Because movement is how I find my way back too.
The Difference Between Trying and Doing
One of the simplest things twenty years of coaching has taught me is the difference between trying and doing.
When someone tells me they’re going to try to make it to a workout tomorrow… in trainer speak that means they won’t be there. Trying is just attempting. You don’t try to drink water. You drink it. You don’t try to lift a weight. You lift it.
So here’s what I want you to consider. Don’t try to show up for yourself tomorrow. Decide. Set your alarm. Schedule your day around that one appointment you can actually keep.
The hardest part is waking up. The hardest part is saying yes to yourself when everything else is pulling at you. But once you’re moving? You already know how good it feels on the other side.
Take trying off the table. Just do.
You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone
Sometimes we don’t need more willpower. We need someone in our corner. Someone to check in. Someone to remind us why we started. Someone who believes in us on the days we don’t believe in ourselves.
That’s what I try to be for every person who walks through the door at Good Gaines in Cornelius, North Carolina. A judgment free space in the Lake Norman area where women and men can show up exactly as they are, do something hard, and leave feeling like themselves again.
I work with members throughout Davidson, Huntersville, Cornelius, Concord, and Mooresville. And if you’re not local, I offer daily Zoom classes so you can train with us no matter where you are.
Your first Small Group Training session is free. Come find out what it feels like to be in a room full of real people doing hard things together.
A Little More About My Journey
I was recently a guest on the Best of LKN podcast with Jeff Hamm, where we talked about my journey from twenty years of training in big gyms and rented spaces to finally opening Good Gaines, my own brick and mortar studio right here in the Lake Norman area. If you want to hear more about how I got here and why I do what I do, give it a listen.
Follow Good Gaines on Instagram for workouts, real talk, and everything happening at the studio.
Andrea Gaines is a certified personal trainer with over twenty years of experience, a certified menopause coaching specialist, and an Emeritus Whole30 coach. She owns Good Gaines, a boutique fitness studio specializing in small group personal training in Cornelius, North Carolina.
Strong looks good on you. 💛
