A fitness coach on fear, self trust, and why having a plan B changes everything.
The Phone Call That Stayed With Me
About six months ago my phone rang.
It was one of my members. She was crying.
She needed help getting back on track with her workouts. She knew it. But she was terrified to even ask me. Because asking for help felt like admitting she had failed. And she was already carrying so much. Already trying to do so many things. Already beating herself up for falling behind.
That call stayed with me for a long time.
Then a few months later someone came up to me after class. She’d had a great workout and was glowing. And then she said something I’ve heard before but it hit different that day.
“Every time I start something I do really well for about ten days. Then life happens. I miss one session and just fall off. The charge comes through again and I think okay I’ll keep paying and start fresh. It comes through again. Still haven’t gone back. Now I’m just mad at myself for paying for something I’m not using.”
I knew exactly what she meant.
Not because I’ve watched it happen from a distance. But because I hear it over and over from the very people I most want to help. People who want to exercise. People who know it makes them feel better. People who are looking for place where they truly belong. And yet these are the same people who have started to associate the very act of starting with that yucky feeling of not following through.
That’s not laziness. That’s not lack of motivation.
That’s what happens when you stop trusting yourself. Because the evidence keeps telling you that you can’t. Or maybe you’ve been caught in a cycle of what I call the overs…overthinking, overworrying, overfunctioning…running you day to day. I wrote about it here.
How To Stop Starting Over With Fitness Once And For All
Here’s what I’ve come to understand after twenty years of coaching.
When we do nothing, nothing is the data we’re pulling from. And when the only evidence we have is a pattern of starting and stopping, that pattern becomes the story we tell ourselves about who we are.
I’m someone who can’t stick to things. I’m someone who always quits. I’m someone who pays for memberships and doesn’t use them.
And once that story takes hold, fear moves in. Fear of starting again because starting means failing again. Fear of asking for help because asking means admitting you need it. Fear of the yucky feeling that comes when you let yourself down one more time.
So we stay stuck. Not because we don’t want it. Because wanting it and failing at it feels worse than not trying at all.
What If We Changed the Definition?
Here’s the thing I keep coming back to.
What if the problem isn’t you? What if the problem is that plan A was the only plan?
You signed up for something. You committed to showing up in person three days a week. And when life made that impossible, there was no plan B. So you stopped. And stopping felt like failing. And failing felt like proof that you were the problem.
Plan B Is Not Failure
But what if missing your in person session wasn’t the end? What if plan B was jumping on Zoom for even fifteen minutes? What if plan C was a five minute YouTube workout in your living room? What if all of those things counted because they do?
We have to change the definition of what following through looks like. Because showing up imperfectly is still showing up. And every time you show up, even imperfectly, you’re building new evidence. Proof that you can rely on yourself. Proof that you don’t quit. Proof that you are someone who works out.
And slowly the trust gets louder. And the fear gets a little quieter.
Why I Built FailSafe
Those two conversations are a big part of why I created FailSafe.
Not because I wanted to sell something. But because I kept hearing real stories from real people who genuinely wanted to exercise, who knew it made them feel better, and who just needed someone to help them build their plan B and plan C before life got in the way. And even if perimenopause is making all of this feel even harder right now, I wrote something specifically for you here.
If you’ve been in that cycle… I want you to know I see you and I’m not going anywhere. Your membership is still here. I am still here. And whenever you’re ready to get back on track, we figure it out together. That’s it. No judgment. No starting over. Just picking back up. 💛
FailSafe is a structured plan built around your actual life. Extra accountability. Someone in your corner who checks in, cheers you on, and helps you keep going when plan A falls apart. The goal isn’t for you to need me forever. The goal is for you to build enough evidence that you trust yourself to keep going on your own.
If any of this sounds familiar… I’d love to talk. Just reply to my newsletter or reach out directly. No pressure. Just a conversation. 💛
Ready to Start Building Your Evidence?
At Good Gaines in Cornelius, North Carolina we help women and men in the Lake Norman area build real, sustainable consistency. Not perfection. Just showing up.
Your first Small Group Training session is free. Come add to your evidence. 💛
Follow Good Gaines on Instagram for workouts, real talk, and everything happening at the studio.
Andrea Gaines is a certified personal trainer with over twenty years of experience, a certified menopause coaching specialist, and an Emeritus Whole30 coach. She owns Good Gaines, a boutique fitness studio specializing in small group personal training in Cornelius, North Carolina.
Strong looks good on you. 💛
