Do You Like Who You Become When Things Get Hard?
A fitness coach’s honest reflection on attitude, consistency, and what ultra running taught her about showing up.
A few weeks ago I was listening to Welcome to the Party with Abby Wambach and she was interviewing Rachel Entrekin, an ultra runner who won the Cocodona 250… a two hundred and fifty mile race on foot.
I have been thinking about this conversation ever since.
Rachel talked about something that has shifted in her running over time. During a race she can’t control the conditions. She can’t control how her body is going to feel. She can’t control what the course throws at her.
The only thing under her control is her attitude.
And so over time she has learned to check in with herself in those moments… to make sure that the person emerging when things get really tough is someone she respects. Someone she likes.
“I want to like the person that emerges when things get hard.”
She wasn’t just talking about racing. She meant life too.
I haven’t been able to let go of that.
When I Turned That Question On Myself
Because when I turned it on myself I had to be honest. I didn’t always like who I became when things got hard. Early in my fitness journey. Through injuries. Through hard seasons of life. I would get so down on myself. Frustrated. Blameful. Why did you do that? Why can’t you do this? I didn’t lean into the right parts of myself when things got hard. I leaned into the worst ones.
But somewhere along the way that changed.
Now when things get hard I try to ask myself… am I getting grumpy? Am I feeling defeated? Am I blaming myself or shutting down? Or am I cheering for myself, persevering, finding a little grace, relaxing and regrouping instead of spiraling?
It’s not perfect. But I’m asking the question. And that matters.
What Twenty Years of Coaching Has Taught Me
As a coach I can give you the reps. I can give you the workout. I can cheer for you from across the room. But I cannot get inside your head during the hard part. That’s yours. Only yours.
So here’s what I want to ask you.
When things get hard in a workout… what do you do? Do you go half speed so you never have to find out what you’re really made of? Do you find a reason to stop just before rep eight so you never have to know if you could do nine and ten?
I get it. It’s scary to find out.
But I’ve watched people for twenty years. And the ones who grit their teeth on rep eight and crank out nine and ten anyway… they’re building something. Not just muscle. Self trust. Evidence. Proof that when things get hard they don’t give up.
Rachel’s insight only works if you actually let yourself go through the hard things. You can’t know if you like the person you become when things get hard if you never let yourself get there.
I say it all the time. Success happens in the discomfort. Stepping outside your comfort zone is where things actually change.
That Destroyed Me. And I Mean That As A Compliment.
And lately at the end of really hard workouts I’ve been saying something quietly to myself.
That destroyed me.
That’s it. That workout destroyed me. Which means I have nothing left in the tank. I left it all out there. And that feeling… grabbing my towel, wiping the sweat off my face, laying on the mat… that’s my favorite feeling in the world. My lungs working. My blood pumping. Every breath feeling earned.
And there are no mirrors at Good Gaines. I’m not checking myself out or lifting my shirt to see anything. I just feel it from the inside. Proud. Strong. Unstoppable. Like I started my day doing something really hard and I liked who showed up.
Even on the days where it was really hard and I had to stop or modify or slow down… I still made it to the end. I didn’t give up.
And I want to say something important here. Modifying is not the same as half assing it. If you’re injured, if you’re not feeling well, if you need to scale back… that’s smart. That’s listening to your body. That’s not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about the days when everything is fine and you go half speed so you never have to find out what you’re really made of. Those are the days that matter most. Those are the days to stay in it.
The Moment That Said Everything
Recently I watched one of my members cheer for herself out loud. Not at the finish. Right in the middle of the hard part. Come on. You can do this.
That’s who she is when things get hard.
Who are you when things get hard?
Do you like that person?
Ready to Find Out?
At Good Gaines we do hard things together. Small Group Personal Training for women who want to feel strong, show up consistently, and like who they become in the process.
Your first Small Group Training session is free. Come find out who you are when things get hard. I’ll be right there with you.
Not local to me? I also offer daily virtual Small Group Training through a Zoom membership, so you can train with us everyday no matter where you are. And virtual personal training is available too if you want one-on-one support.
Andrea Gaines is the owner of Good Gaines, a boutique fitness studio in Cornelius, North Carolina specializing in small group personal training for women. She is a certified menopause coaching specialist, Emeritus Whole30 coach, and has over twenty years of personal training experience.
Strong looks good on you. 💛
